Grasping
Having a desire to succeed
in life is great. It drives us to work harder and to make
the most of our abilities. At the same time, attachment to
success habituates us to equate happiness with career
achievements. When we strive for something, we should remind
ourselves that what we really want is contentment. We may
think of contentment in terms of earning an advanced degree,
making a lot of money, driving an expensive car, and winning
approval from family and friends. But these are just
motivations for striving, not contentment itself. When we
reach a new milestone in our career, we may be happy for a
while, but our feelings of contentment are quickly replaced
by a more powerful desire to reach the next target. Life
then becomes a state of constant grasping, always reaching
for something onto which we cannot hold.
Sometimes, children blame their parents for putting work
before family. They resent their parents for not being a
part of their lives as they grow up. The truth is, the
parents are never present in their own lives, either.
Obviously, parents work very hard to provide for their
families. But material support should not be used as an
excuse to pursue narrow self-interests. While the parents'
hard work may benefit their children materially, the parents
still act out of selfishness when they put their career
before the needs of their children. Fortunately, career and
family need not be mutually exclusive. It is possible to
maintain presence in our own lives and the lives of our
loved ones as we strive for success.
When we strive mindfully, we strive with the mind already
content in itself. That's it. Contentment does not depend on
the fruits of our labor; it depends only on the mind being
at peace with itself-- with or without the fruits. If the
mind is already content in itself, then no additional
conditions, such as wealth, status, and promotion, are
necessary for happiness.
The question then arises, why should we strive in the first
place? If true happiness and contentment have nothing to do
with accomplishing anything, why should we even bother
trying at all?
We strive to co-exist with the conditions and circumstances
to which we are bound. Most of us choose to live in a world
of attachments and material comfort, so we must be able to
meet the challenges of secular life. If we are to function
effectively in society, we must accept the roles and
responsibilities that are expected of us. If there is a
certain need or lacking in our lives, material or otherwise,
we must address it right away, so that it does not become a
source of frustration and unhappiness for us. Economic
prosperity is not the enemy of spiritual development--
certainly not in a society that values excess of all kinds.
Money can benefit our health, our sense of security, and
even our happiness if we know how to go about it the right
way.
When we pursue our goals mindfully, we don't necessarily
lower our standards or become less motivated. While mindful
striving may not guarantee success, it does bring meaning
and purpose to our pursuits. Our happiness no longer hinges
on the outcome of our efforts. Attachment to the outcome
denies us the opportunity to live in the present and fosters
uncertainty, anxiety, stress, and self-doubt. Mindfulness
enables us to shift our focus away from preoccupation with
the outcome toward the process of our work. We then realize
that success can be savored only in the present moment,
while we're working, not in the distant future. With
mindfulness, our endeavor takes on a spiritual dimension as
we awaken to the clear meaning and clear purpose of our
work. Work is no longer a means to an end, but the very
expression of our True Essence.
